"YIKES"

Today's Thoughts By Jeff Head 3/28/13 "Yikes"

I was happy to have passed my DOT physical again the other day. Just barley though as my doctor was a little concerned about my Diabetes being just a bit high. She increased my medication to help bring it under control. Of course as you might expect, more medication takes time for the body to get used to. Something they forget to tell you about and something you find out about at the most inopportune time. That was me today as I just get myself comfortable for a early afternoon nap back in a quiet corner of the truck stop.

 

As the rumbling starts, I know it is time to make that mad dash inside to the rest room. On goes the pants, then the shirt and the hat; then out the door I go. Half way there I start wondering why I did not just move the truck closer but it is too late to go back now. The rumbling is getting worse as I close the distance to the truck stop door that seems to be getting further away with every step I take. More rumbling and the urgency becomes critical as I finally reach the door and I find myself inside. Across the store, around the corner and into the opening in the wall without a door restroom I go. I find the first stall, enter it, spin around lock the door and safe, I made it just in a nick of time. "WHEW"

 

Easy enough you would think. At least I did until I started wondering what that extra box was for on the left wall. "It is not an ashtray" I think to myself. The answer came soon enough as someone with pretty painted toe nails entered the stall to my right. The last time this happened to me three little old ladies made the mistake. That was scary enough as I just pulled my hat down over my eyes and prayed no one figured out what was going on. But today, yes today, I am the one making the mistake. All I could think of is how am I going to get out of this one without getting caught.

 

So I waited just a second. I listened for any signs that anyone else was in there beside the lady next to me. Nothing, so up come the pants and out the door I go right into a lady walking in with her two little girls. Crap!! "Oh no she says, we are walking into the men's room."  I squeeze by her as fast as I can and say, " Nope, I am the one messing up and I am out of here." I thought she might scream or something but she just laughed at my noticeable embarrassment and out into the hall I went. Right into a bunch of drivers staring at me as they listened to my conversation with the nice lady.  Of course come all the jokes and laughter.

 

Finally, I did make it to the right restroom. For twenty minutes longer then I needed I sat there. I wanted to make sure that anyone witnessing my screw up was long gone when I walked out. As I waited I wondered. Is the universe through screwing with me? Just how many times am I going to find myself taking a dump next to a women in a public restroom in my life? Oh well. I can tell you this much about it though. It is a lot scarier when I am the one messing up then when the lady is at fault. And if you ask me, restrooms should be painted either blue or pink respectively. That way, hurried up folks like me can tell the difference when there just is no time to look.

 

 

God Bless America

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