Big Rig Dodge Ball

Big Rig Dodge Ball

Seems like that some days. A big olé game of Big Rig Dodge Ball played out on our nation's highways. Just yesterday I had to dodge a big truck sitting at a dead stop in the right lane while I was doing seventy plus over in Arizona. When I finally made it to Flagstaff, I puppy dog decided it wanted to cross the interstate in front of me. I guess we just have days like that. The longer we drive, the more we end up dodging.

Looking back over the years it seems like I've dodged just about everything you can think of. About four different times I can remember I've missed vehicles sitting in the middle of the highway. People just standing there waiting to be hit. It's like if you cannot move your car out of the way, don't stand there and wait to get run over. Balls, bikes ladders I've managed to dodge. One morning I dodged a full sized refrigerator. You can just about bet on a mattress once a month. Just has to be.

Of course let's not leave out the critters. Eventuality something is going to wander out in the road at the most inopportune time. Once when I was hauling radioactive waste out in Nevada's open range after dark a cow decided it wanted to stand in the middle of that two lane highway. The fact that I was at a high rate of fuel consumption didn't seem to bother her much. You know lots of skid marks and not all were on the highway that night. But we can add that cow to a long list of cows that I've met over the years out on the open road.

And then there are the things that went for a bounce. Like the cooler that flew off the back of a pickup that passed me and bounced off my brand new Texas bumper. The deer that took out my front right tire, bumper and mirrors just as I hit the blinker to go into a Georgia scale house. One day in an old Astro I used to drive, I rear ended a turkey buzzard at seventy miles an hour. He turned and looked at me just before I took him out. Oh yea, the turkey up in Wyoming that dented the crap out of my driver's side air breather. Hawks, owl's, sea gulls, birds are just suicidal if you ask me.

Once a wheel of a mobile home sliced the inside of my front right steer and another time a piece of metal off a passing pickup pulling a trailer actually blew my front right steer out. All these things you have to be ready to come at you and with absolutely no warning what so ever.

But the ones I love most are the ones like I come across today. Coming to the end of a passing lane on a two lane highway, the feller pulling a twenty foot trailer with a dually is dead set on getting in front of me. To dodge this guy I end up chucking gravel and grass on the right and oncoming traffic is doing the same on the left while he splits the yellow lines proud as hell he's done it again.

Once again today I was lucky. I dodged yet another object out on the highway with half a brain. We as truckers bust our butts to keep the highways safe and along come heroes like this.  It shakes your confidence I guess. I physically start shaking about ten minutes down the road. That's about how long it takes for me. Once I dodge whatever it is I have to dodge, five to ten minutes later come the shakes.

It's done. It's over. Tomorrow is another day. Out on the highways for yet another death defying game of Big Rig Dodge Ball. If Lady Luck is with me, hopefully I'll win again tomorrow. Be safe folks.